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The Downward Spiral

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To Los Angeles to cure Spike and thus help Buffy and Dawn. [Nov. 7th, 2006|05:03 pm]
The Downward Spiral

[mood |anxiousanxious]

I had made a breakthrough with Spike's trigger. It had all come from something that Willow had stated about mind manipulation, and it occurred to me that there wasn't necessarily a physical catalyst inside of Spike's brain, like there was with the chip in his head placed there by the Government which kept Spike from harming anything or one that wasn't a demon. Before that, I was worried that we wouldn't have an answer, outside of either staking Spike, or brain surgery, and the first of which, much to my...to my chagrin, Buffy wouldn't let me do, and the second thing required a surgeon, which we didn't have.

It made sense and as Xander joked about anything being in Spike's head but air, I realized as I scurried through some volumes in my limited library, that if the First was controlling him, and the First was unable to attain solid form, was unable to affect anything physically, I chided myself for not realizing that sooner.

Time was certainly of the essence here. Angelus, we had found, was somehow loose again in Los Angeles, which was the reason that Buffy, Dawn, and Spike, after Buffy had saved him after killing the Tourrekhan, had gone to Los Angeles. The only probably with that scenario, which created the time being of the essence that it indeed was, was that at any moment, Spike's trigger, which had made him kill people again, according to what I had already heard, could turn him against Buffy at any second, and if it were to happen when they were near Angelus, then it could be fatal for Buffy and certainly for Dawn.

I held no trepidation about Buffy being able to protect Dawn and handle herself against either Spike or Angelus; She had come so far and was probably the most powerful slayer in the history of all of the slayers, but against both of them, no slayer would stand a chance, alone, let alone that Buffy...that Buffy had to protect Dawn simultaneously.

I had just returned from a rather disgusting trip to Europe, and had barely spoken of the Council being destroyed and hadn't at all mentioned that I was nearly decapitated, and now, there was this.

"What about Kennedy and the girls? Are we just going to leave them here, alone?"

"The tourrekan is destroyed. Everything should be safe here...safe for a time, anyway. Willow, have Kennedy in charge and for God's sake, tell her to keep the doors locked and that they should stay inside except for at night. Xander, grab as many swords as you can and a vial or two of holy water. Los Angeles is bathed in permanent darkness and we are going in without a slayer, initially."

I waited by the door, anxious to leave, knowing how important time was, currently for Buffy and Dawn.

[Willow and Xander]
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"I want you to protect her." [Nov. 7th, 2006|03:50 pm]
The Downward Spiral

[mood |confusedconfused]

"I want you to make him go away Spike. Send daddy away."

This was the face of my Drusilla telling me to do this, sodding telling me to send daddy...Angelus away from Buffy and to keep her safe.

Was not feeling right. Knew that this wasn't really Drusilla speaking to me and normally I would have beaten Dru up just because she was evil and I had a soul. I somehow felt that, bloody believed that, and Dru had a distinctive scent that nobody knew bloody better then I did, and this thing, whatever it was didn't have any scent, but it called to me, she called to me and it all made sense.

We had come here for Angelus. The slaya and I. We had come here for Angelus. I could remember that, but things were all mottled, and the rage that I had felt, wanting to kill her and him was now gone with this Drusilla impostor's sooting words.

Now, she, it, what-bloody-ever wanted me to get rid of Angelus, and considering that it was something that seemed like it would be appealing to me, I looked away from Drusilla who wasn't Drusilla at all and turned to face the slaya and Angelus. Saw the girl in the car, saw the broken window, and heard the slaya talking, battling with Angelus.

"Tell me how this feels?"

Hit him good and proper in the nose and as I wasn't facing the Drusilla thing, I charged Angel, and as he fell away from the slaya, grabbed him in a half nelson from behind and threw him against a wall, head first. Had the temptation to bite his neck, and I growled as I went to. Had to protect the slaya, and this would be a good way to sodding do it.

Bit into his neck, and felt his leg come up and catch me flush in the stones region, before he grabbed my head and slammed me against the wall, and all thought quickly faded away. The reasons for my being down were bloody lost on me. All that I knew was that I had Angel blood in my mouth and some major pain coming from the stones to the gullet. I keeled over, trying to get a hold of that. But I knew that I had to get up. Had to.

Buffy needed me.

Pain wasn't an ally though. Angel had obviously kicked me, but I hadn't remembered what had happened bloody before that. Struggled to get to my feet, feeling stronger because of his blood in my mouth, yet, the stones sometimes controlled the mind. Obviously, Forehead had caught me. I tried to gather myself.

Buffy needed me. Dawn needed me.

[Buffy, Angelus and Dawn]
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Dru, the First [Nov. 5th, 2006|11:20 pm]
The Downward Spiral
"Wake up sleepy head, there is work to do."

Fool! What good was he if he let that mousy little slayer and her ex-lover get the best of him? Come to think of it, just whose side was Angelus on anyway? Last I checked, it was mine. I had over looked Angelus, it had been easy. He was a ruthless killer without his soul and I hadn't anticipated his hatred for Spike to be more then his hatred for the slayer. Yes, a small over site. One I would be correcting when the time came. He would have to know where he fit in, what plans I had for him in the coming days. Oh yes, he and I would have a pleasant little talk about what I expected from him. And if he disagreed, well, that would be a shame. I could really use someone like him when the time was right. Sooner or later he would see where he belonged. Hopefully for him, it would be sooner.

"Early one morning, just as the sun was rising, yes that's it pet. Up, up with you. I heard a maid sing in the valley below. Come now Spike, you musn't sleep while the slayers about. Don't you remember the things she did to you lover? All the scratching and biting at your wee little, beat-less heart. Oh don't deceive me, Oh never leave me, How could you use, a poor maiden so?"

Wake up you idiot I thought. You can't let her get away. I need her here, away from the rest of them. I have big plans for the little ones. Plans the slayer can not be a part of. Her time will come, but not now. I need you to distract her. Wake up you fool!

I watched, powerless from the hole in he truck. The youngest sister had barricaded herself in the car. She was of no use to me. Angelus and the slayer fought on, both with word and with fist. It wasn't suppose to be like this. If Angelus killed her another would be called. Younger, stronger. No, I couldn't let that happen. I needed this one alive, but other wise indisposed. I needed Spike for that. If only the idiot would wake up. This is what I get for using a vampire as my secret weapon.

"It's funny isn't it?" I asked, though I wasn't even sure he could hear me. "Even as a soulless vampire, she still chooses him over you."

[Open to Spike]
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Trigger, not-so-happy [Oct. 29th, 2006|03:02 pm]
The Downward Spiral
Kennedy agreed to taking over training sessions while Buffy was gone. I was surprised to realize how relieved I was about that. I loved her but this whole thing with Spike was starting to give me a headache. At least now she would have something to take her mind off him for a while. When she left to inform the rest of the girls what was going on I let out a heavy sigh of relief I didn't even know I was holding in until just now. I expected Xander and Giles to look at me but I didn't bother to look up and see if they actually did. It was research time and as much as we tried to ignore it, time was of the essence. We needed to find out how to deactivate Spike's trigger before he and Buffy got back from L.A. Because they are coming back. Buffy had faced Angelus before, granted she had a little help from me, but I was still sure she could handle things. And, as long as Spike's trigger didn't go off I knew he'd do anything he could to keep her and Dawn safe.

"I don't even know where to start." I said a little frustrated.

Normally I'd just do a little magic, work some fascinating little spell on my lap top, and presto! All the information would just appear before me. But I couldn't exactly do that now. If I did, bad things could happen, mostly to my friends. Besides, me going all scary and veiny would just be helping the First and I definitely did not want that. We had enough trouble in that department, the last thing these girls needed was me adding to that. Sure I hated knowing the magic was there and that it could help us, or at least help us faster, but the possible side effects made dealing with it a bit more bearable.

I thought about the initiative and suddenly wished we had been able to get a hold of some of their files before the government went and "buried" their little problem. I suppose we could send someone back in there to see if anything could be salvaged, maybe even find out something about Spike, but without Buffy here, sending anyone else was just asking for trouble. No, we'd have to do it the hard way, just like we seemed to be doing everything now a days.

I could just type in the word trigger and see what happens. Although I'd probably get a million and one results and it would take days just to find out none of them were what we needed. What we needed was to narrow it down. What sort of trigger, what was it used for, did it have a remote, if so who was pushing the buttons, besides the First that is.

"Any ideas?" I asked.

[Open to Xander & Giles]
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A beauty dead in my arms, another in prison...or so I thought. [Oct. 28th, 2006|07:07 pm]
The Downward Spiral

[mood |crushedcrushed]

Finding Fred, Gunn and Lorne dead was crushing. There was no relief and no respite from the constant onslaught of obstacles. I hadn't counted on this one, though. I hadn't counted on Fred and the rest of my friends being taken away. Unleashing Angel had been a terrible idea, because if he were still Angel, he wouldn't have allowed them to die like this. I took no comfort in the fact that Angelus hadn't left his bitemarks in her neck and that something else, presumably the Beast, had killed her and Gunn. Angelus would have killed them if he had gotten to them first if he had been the first to reach them.

I cursed Charles' name as I drove down the road, tears filling my eyes, as if it were raining, my hands not being winshield wipers, because I didn't care to wipe the tears away. One arm was on the steering wheel, well out of Los Angeles by now, and the other was holding Fred, dead, cradled against me, although I didn't know why I had taken her with me. I cursed Charles' name because he had been the reason that she had died. He had gone out to try to fight the Beast or some vampires or something to that effect and she went along out of an allegiance to him. I would have shot him dead myself if I had seen him doing that.

But as I thought it, immediately, I felt strickened by feeling that way too. Gunn, at one point, although not recently, had been a friend, an ally. Now, he was dead and was probably a trophy for a cadre of vampires somewhere, Lorne was gone. Angel was Angelus and Cordelia, well, I could only surmise that she was still pregnant and evil, being protected by Connor, pussywhipped Connor. Childish Connor. Connor was a loose cannon and vampires were roaming the streets of Los Angeles. Vampire and other demons alike were slaughtering innocents and worst of all, my Fred, my sweet Fred, who's kisses I could remember as though they had just happened, was gone and in my arms, in the process of decaying.

I wondered why the hell I was going after Faith at all. My world was now hollow, and I didn't even know if Faith would be enough at this point. Sitting in prison, her slayer muscles had surely atrophied. I drove fast, gripping Fred tighter and subsequently, crying more, until my clouded eyes saw a tractor trailer heading this way, with Faith in the passenger seat heading back towards Los Angeles.

I spun the jeep around, nearly tipping it over and chased down the rig, shooting out the tires as I dodged traffic in order to pull up on the drivers side. The rig slowed and pulled over and I pulled up in front of it, placing Fred on the backseat as I saw both Faith and the trucker getting out. Faith saw me with Fred's body.

The trucker had a gripe, so I did the sensible thing and put a bullet into his left knee and watched as he screamed and fell to the ground. Faith was out. I didn't know how or why, but there was time to explain it later. "Come on, Faith, get in."

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OH NO! Buffy and her peroxided lover are threatening me! [Oct. 28th, 2006|06:50 pm]
The Downward Spiral

[mood |amusedamused]

Killing Lorne had been nice, but would have tasted a whole lot better if I had been able to do it after snapping Gunn's head completely off of his shoulders and draining sweet little Fred drier then the Sahara.

Unfortunately, somebody was always ruining all of my fun. the big rockboy known as the Beast had beat me to Fred and Gunn, probably because was stupid and tried to fight him, bringing cute, little innocent Fred along for the death ride. It was no fun, them being dead without me being the cause of it. There was so much death that I needed to unleash, which still had included the punk of my spunk, and Wesley. I was torn about what to do with both of them. I was thinking that Connor as a vampire would be an outrageous amount of fun. I mean, he already had all of that angst going for him. It was quite the spectacle seeing him want the other, annoying part of me dead.

No, I was thinking that I would kill Connor. He would still be annoying as a vampire and the last thing that I needed was for him to still have a vendetta for me undead, or worse, simply being around would remind me of times that I didn't want to remember, although his confliction would be...YAO, entertaining.

Wesley on the other hand, especially when he finds out that Fred is dead. God, Wesley as a vampire. The possibilities were endless. I'd wonder who he'd lash out upon? Probably his father for starters, not that his father was wrong to taunt him about not being good enough. Wesley was useless and bumbling, virtually never getting anything right. He would know that Fred was dead and all of that rage would just be perfect. I just had to find him, and as I looked, who do I run into?

Who, but who? Buffy, Spike and Buffy's cute little runt of a sister. Now I couldn't think of anything better then to kill Spike, hurt Buffy and leave her in the knowledge that her sister was a vampire. Besides, Dawn was destined to be even sexier then Buffy, if that's possible. Yes, it is possible, especially with Buffy wearing the scent of Spike on her. Falling for Spike. I didn't want to get back in there. Spike was dirty, but that was all very beside the point, considering that he was about to be dead.

Buffy barked at me, fitting, for her, barking, about staying away from Dawn, as I stood on top of the car that they had obviously stolen to get down here, because, hey, none of them had money, the least of which was Spike, who saved money that he stole...ummm....never, and Buffy, who had been slinging burgers for money. Then, oh then, Spike comes forward and says something witty about me running when I couldn't win.

I jumped off of the car. It wouldn't be easy, but come on. Buffy and Spike. I had so many advantages here. They were into each other for starters and I remembered how well that worked when Buffy and I...GAG, were fighting together. Then there was the x-factor. Dawn, so cute. I could smell the fear in her blood even with the windows of the car closed.

"Who said that I couldn't take both you and Buffy down, peroxide boy, and then make Dawn, so cute, my immortal bitch? Hah?"

I donned my fangs, ready for this. It was going to be fun, regardless.

[Buffy, Spike and Dawn]
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L.A. [Oct. 18th, 2006|11:08 am]
The Downward Spiral
Ok, Angelus, The First and Faith's bad sense of style aside, this had to be the scariest thing I'd ever seen! Trees, cars, the lines on the road, all a blur. Spike suggested buckling our seat belts and I didn't argue. We were doing well over a hundred and only slowed down for a minute just outside L.A. because both lanes were blocked by people actually doing the speed limit. We had passed a cop at some point but apparently he was no match for Spike driving...skills? I didn't even hear any sirens although I was sure there were some somewhere behind us, trying like hell to catch up. None of that mattered now. As scary as Spike's driving might be we had to get there fast and fast was exactly what we were doing.

I called Will when we first got on the 405. I quickly explained what was going on and hung up. I wasn't sure how she, or anyone else, felt about any of this but there had been no time to think about it. With the uber-vamp gone and the First still unable to take corporeal form they weren't in any immediate danger. Which was more then I could say for the people trapped in permanent midnight with one of the worlds fiercest vampires roaming the streets freely twenty-four-seven.

I honestly had no idea who we were going to capture Angel, alive, and get him back to Sunnydale so Willow could re-ensoul him, again. Not to mention how on earth we were going to flip the sun switch into the on position again. We'd have to find Wesley. If anyone knew what was going on it would be him. He might actually be our only hope of bring the day light back. Unfortunately, Angelus would know this small but vital fact too and would no doubt be going after Wesley the first chance he got. Time really was a factor here so that cop somewhere back there - I looked over my shoulder- would just have to wait.

"You ok?" I asked Dawn.

She nodded but I could tell she was lieing. She was looking a little green and holding onto the door handle for dear life. I smiled sympathetically and turned back around before my stomach decided to join hers. We passed a sign that announced our arrival in Los Angeles and I took a deep breath. We wouldn't actually know the extent of permanent midnight until morning, when the sun doesn't rise, but the effects of it were clear. Abandoned cars, fires, empty streets. This was definitely not the normal L.A. night life scene.

"Take us to Wesley's" I told Spike.

[[Open to Spike, Dawn, Wes & Angel?]]
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Prison Break [Oct. 15th, 2006|07:39 pm]
The Downward Spiral
So let me get this straight. Some whacked out baby Bertha type tries to make ribbons outta me in the yard and now someones shut off the UV's? And just when I was thinkin' about catchin' a tan too. So what's the sitch man? Is this apocalypse by invite only or what? Ya never know, maybe the chick with the knife was my invite. Can't say it'd really surprise me. I mean, that's Buffy's style right? God, that was just like me wasn't it, to assume B had somethin' to do with that? Hell she was probably tucked away somewhere back in good ol' SunnyD with that college boy toy of hers and I was the furthest thing from her mind. Which I guess was kinda obvious given the lack of visits. You'd think a sister slayer would come 'round once in a while wouldn't ya? Not that I can blame her. I mean, if someone did me like that I probably wouldn't be bakin' nail file pie for them either. She was probably more then glad to have me out of the way. Out of site, out of mind, ya know. But seriously man, somethin' was definitely up, somethin' big and not even the big guy had thought to come give me a little heads up about it.

Angel had actually been my one and only visitor since the mail started coming in with the numbers 43100 on 'em and not in the zip code area either if ya' catch my drift. It wasn't much but it was somethin' ya know? Not that the jail bird gig was so bad, three square meals, a bed I can sleep in while takin' a piss half a foot away, but what the fuck? If somethin' was goin' down out there I wanted in. I had been itchin' to kick some serious ass man and as fun as my little cat fight in the yard had been it just didn't seem to get the job done. I needed to stake a few vamps, wail on a couple of demons, throw out a few well placed puns, maybe turn the sun back on I don't know, I just knew I wasn't gonna get that kind of action here in the girls only club. I needed to get outta here. Besides a girl can only take so much of these outfits before she begins to spaz. Honestly, would it kill them to throw a bit of denim in here and there?

I took a quick look around and decided now was a good a time as any. I could clear that barbed wire easy, maybe a cut or two but nothin' I couldn't handle. I wrapped my fingers around the bar and pulled myself upward into a holding chin up. When it looked like nobody was lookin' I swung my feet up and crouched on the bar like a frog. A whistle blew somewhere behind me, but it was to late man. I was already in the air and clearin' that gate like it was nothin'. The toe of my boot caught on the wire but it was nothin'. I came down on my hands, tucked and rolled up onto my feet. After that it was pretty much a clean break. I hot footed it outta there before any of those wanna-be heroes could even figure out how to get their dicks back in their pants long enough to chase after me.

I knew exactly where I was goin', straight to the big guy himself. If anyone knew what the hell was goin' on around here it would be Angel. I knew he wouldn't be happy with the whole bustin' out of jail thing but what I can I say? I had an itch not even the girls in my block could scratch, though I'm sure a few wouldn't have minded tryin'.
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The uber-vamp is dead, but all...not well. [Oct. 15th, 2006|04:22 pm]
The Downward Spiral

[mood |anxiousanxious]

We had all been there. We had set it up, and Buffy, as always, executed the plan. We had to defeat the tour-whatever, because he was killing the morale of the girls and had been doing a number on Buffy's face and ribs in the process.

In the kitchen, earlier, Buffy beaten, the girls desperate and Will and I not having much with the answers way, it seemed like it was spiraling out of control, downward and out of our realm. I felt so helpless. We had beaten back everything that had ever gotten in our way and now, because of one vampire, granted, one very strong and super-ugly vampire, we had lost the faith of the girls and worse then that, even we weren't necessarily believing in the Buff.

The arguing had been intense, and then Willow did her freaky thing where she could talk to us with our minds. Buffy and I gathered in the kitchen, and we worked it out. It was a plan. Okay, it wasn't the world's most sound plan, but it was a plan, no less. Now, it was all just up to Buffy. So, we set the trap, and executed the crazy, please God-make-it-work plan.

It involved bringing the vampire with the weird name that only Giles could pronounce, to the house, Wil putting up a fake forcefield and then, running away and leading the his most uber-ugly towards the helpless, powerless girls, which is what he wanted the most and more then Buffy, we all figured.

That insane plan worked, although it was touch and go there for a while. As myself, Willow, Kennedy, Dawn and the other girls looked on, Buffy took her beaten and it looked bleak, but in the end, the power that was not only her body, but also her heart, and her brain, won in the end and the uber-disgusting was now a pile of uber dust. Relieved, all of us returned to Buffy's house, with the exception of Buffy herself, and Dawn, because they had a follically challenged freak of a First-controlled vamp to go and save.

We sat down, Willow, Kennedy and I, in the kitchen, again, and looked at each other. Things were temporarily of the safe, but with Spike coming back, presumably, it wasn't exactly break out the champagne time just yet.

"Okay, step one, kill the uber-vamp. Step one accomplished. Step two, get the girls back on the it's safe again, let's train, train. Step three, get a bigger muzzle for Andrew and maybe some stronger deodorant, or possibly occassional shower access, and step four, and here is the biggie...How safe really is it? Spike is still capable of ripping into flesh, somehow because he's become the First's Bitca. Should we even have him here? Shouldn't we try to convince Buffy that he should be locked away somewhere, really, really sturdy?"

Anya and Andrew were talking, when the door opened and looking at us, was Giles, looking a little ruffled.

[Willow, Kennedy and Giles]
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Thankfully, it's the real Buffy... [Oct. 15th, 2006|03:42 pm]
The Downward Spiral

[mood |Beaten]

It didn't seem like this was my purpose. Bloody get a soul only to have the First and greatest evil of all time using me as his or her sodding puppet, depending on who the First chose to use as it's bloody sightline.

The First was out trying to sodding kill Buffy, and yet, I was chained up, couldn't help, and then, when the First didn't send his or her evil vampire after Buffy, I ended up getting tortured and beaten, and bloody worse, the face of the First as she instructed the uber-vamp to punish me, and dunk me under cold water, was none other then Buffy, herself, which hurt the most. Started out as Drusilla, but eventually, the First, blaming me for being a sad instrument of his or her chaos, chose to stick the dagger in without actually killing me, by becoming Buffy when the harsh words were said and the harsh things were done to me.

Buffy lingered around, telling me how much that she didn't love me, only it wasn't Buffy. Had long since learned that this was the First and that everything coming out of his or her Ghostly and ineffectual mouth, was designed to make one suffer. Had enough of the physical pain to not worry about the mental. Still, hearing the First say that he or she knew what was in everyone's hearts, whether they were good or evil, and then proceed to bloody tell me that Buffy didn't love me. Buffy was just keeping me around because she was afraid of me...of the First evil, and that when it was all said and done, and when she was dead, that she would go to her grave caring about Angel, who by the way, wasn't such a nice guy anymore, and not about me, and that she would go to her grave and this time, she wouldn't be brought back.

Didn't blow that one off. Couldn't. Deep down, had felt it was true. Hadn't come back to win Buffy's love. Had gotten the soul to be a part of the team, to help, and to make a difference, but as much as I convinced myself of that and as much as I would never touch her again like I had in her bathroom that night...in as much as I would never harm and had to help the girls and the main girl being Buffy, I knew that it was a shot through my heart with something pointy and wooden. The First was trying to press my buttons, and it was starting to work. I closed my eyes, not listening to her, anymore. All that I did was suck the blood in and lived with the pain, knowing that the uber-vamp would be back to deliver more.

Except, that this time around, I heard a moan and looked up to see Buffy, again. Thought that if I just ignored he/she, that eventually, she would quit with her evil sodding prattle pointed directly and expressly at me, but it wasn't the case. Now, he or she wanted to ride me even more and bring things to light that were even more troubling. I readied for it, until I felt a hand on my chest, and in the distance, saw Dawn watching and smiling at me. As she undid the knots, I fell into her arms, sore, battered, and just glad that she was here. This might be the last time that I touch her, but it was amazing.

She had defeated the uber-vamp. She had to have, or she wouldn't have brought the niblet along for the ride. All was safe here at the hellmouth, at least for now, well, except for my annoying controlled-by-the-first tendency, but all wasn't safe everywhere. The First was controlling evil things elsewhere. The First had told me, and now, Buffy had to know.

"Thank God, love. I thought that I was going to spend the rest of my life being tortured."

Dawn came towards us. "Buffy, you've killed the uber, ugly ass vamp?"

She nodded and I took a step and then a second one, feeling better then I had expected to, albeit that I was battered, her arm around my shoulder, supporting me as we walked towards the entrance to the cave.

"I'm glad. Know that the first can still control me, somehow, some way. Know that I've done bad things, but at least things are safe for all of the girls back at the ranch, but..."

I stopped and she looked at me, and it was clear to me what we had to do, and it would probably be clear to Buffy. She was going to push me now about the but that I had said and didn't elaborate on, and I knew that I was going to have to tell her about Angel being Angelus and about Los Angeles being a bloody devil's playground, what with the sun being gone and all, which I wondered as well, if she knew about.

[Buffy and Dawn]
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